"Longtemps je me suis couche de bonne heure"...not.

It will be awhile before Edith discovers Proust. Perhaps by the time she does she will recognize herself in that opening section on the mysterious sensations associated with falling asleep. Right now it seems unlikely. Edith is viewing sleep warily these days, not inclined to meet it at the bargaining table yet, much less embrace its deliciousness.

A summer of sleep upheaval has worn us out. We tried for several months to make allowances for all the change Edith was experiencing: moving, a new room, a big girl bed, the long summer light, vacation, jet lag, etc. In the last couple of weeks, however, we've worked to be very consistent about bedtime--the bedtime routine begins by 8 and lights are out by 9--and we're ready to make a diagnosis. Our best guess is that Edith is physiologically ready to give up her afternoon nap. When she doesn't nap in the afternoon, we usually can count on her to fall asleep between 9:15 and 9:30. When she has had a nap, she's just not sleepy until 11 or later.

Unfortunately, daycare is required by state law to enforce a nap policy for full-day kids, meaning they have to lie down on their mats every afternoon. But when I spoke to Ms. Chrissy today about the problem, she agreed that she would put no effort into trying to get Edith to fall asleep and that she would allow her to get up off her mat after the minimum amount of time (30 minutes) to join the school's two non-napping four year olds for quiet activities. So we'll see how that goes. If she does fall asleep in the window during which she's on her mat, state law requires that the teachers leave her sleeping for at least 60 minutes. State law would be great if it would also provide for a bedtime nanny from 8pm to 11:30pm.

The other challenge--and here's where I'd value readers' advice--is that Edith isn't happy being left alone in her room at night while she's trying to fall asleep. On the one hand, who could blame her? Two hours is a long time to lie there tossing and turning, at any age. On the other hand our family can't function this fall if either Tom or I has to devote 3+ hours to bedtime every night. In the past Edith has been able to put herself to sleep after we leave the room, with the exception of some glitches now and then. But since she started sleeping in the big girl bed, or maybe since she has been in the new room, she seems to have developed a fear of lying there in the open with monsters and ghosts all around. Monsters and ghosts are new fears/fascinations of hers. Several of our parenting books say that when kids hit new imaginative milestones that interfere with their ability to fall sleep alone, the best bet is to humor them for awhile and stay in the room. Doing so will reassure them that they are safe, such that they'll eventually outgrow it. Others feel that humoring the child only establishes a bad routine and that one has to draw a firm line, teaching the child that the parent has a right to evening hours and that he/she has to (re)learn how to be alone at bedtime.

We'd be happy to let Edith read or play by herself in her room with a low light on until she felt sleepy, but playing alone is something she has never been able to do for more than about five minutes. So it seems pointless to hold that out as an option, since it quickly devolves into her angry cries for our attendance.

So what to do? Parents of preschoolers: Have you humored your kid when he/she doesn't want to fall asleep alone? Have you held a firm line? And what do you do when your kid simply isn't tired?

These long bedtime hours are one reason--combined with setting up a new house, prepping to teach a new course, and attending new evening church meetings--that we haven't been on top of recent blogging. There still are Mor-mor's pictures from her visit to post, funny Edithisms to record, and Edith's recent theological and political questions and musings to detail. Stay tuned.