Big girls

Alice is such a joy these days. Sunny, mischievous, funny... She loves to start a joke, whether getting me to pretend to nibble her feet, play hide-and-seek, or make a show of horror at the stinkiness of her diaper. She remains independent in her daily play yet is also loving, snuggling in for cuddles and kisses, which she bestows freely herself. (Baby kisses are one of the best things in the world.) She loves arriving at daycare each morning, reaching eagerly for her seat at the table, pointing at other babies as she names them, then requesting Cheerios. She settles in and waves me a cheery farewell, sometimes blowing a kiss. Then in the afternoons she is all smiles again when we arrive to pick her up, running into my arms and turning to wave and announce a cheerful "Bye-bye!" to her teachers.


Another great moment is first thing in the morning, after she has nursed in our bed and is ready to start the day. She sits up and does one of three things: (1) signs and says eat, pointing to the kitchen to get us to the breakfast table, (2) announces dog, pointing to the kitchen to indicate we should let Bismarck out, or (3) or raises her arms and sways a little and hums, then points to the kitchen to indicate that we should go put on the Putomayo African Playground CD and all dance. Baby (and preschooler) dancing is in a close race with baby kisses for Best Thing in the World.


We don't want Alice to accuse us of not documenting her childhood as carefully as her older sister's, so when I happened the other day on a list I made of Edith's spoken vocabulary at age 15 1/2 months, I realized the timing was right to make a similar list for Alice. Though she has slightly fewer words than her sister did at this age, her calm, clear, confident communication makes them highly effective.

WORDS ALICE SAYS as of MARCH 22, 2010 (15 1/2 MONTHS)

1. daddy
2. Dee-Dee [Edith]
3. dog
4. baby
5. milk
6. eat
7. amen
8. more
9. hot
10. all done/all gone
11. go
12. no
13. up
14. bottle
15. spoon
16. cup
17. apple
18. cheese
19. cracker
20. yogurt
21. avocado
22. fish
23. teeth
24. head
25. hat
26. shoes
27. coat
28. off
29. on
30. book
31. bird
32. neigh
33. moo
34. duck
35. grrr
36. ball
37. tree
38. airplane
39. car
40. bus
41. bike
42. vroom
43. potty
44. keys
45. yuck
46. balloon
47. bubble
48. bath
49. out
50. mommy
51. Holly
52. Ella
53. Elmo
54. bye-bye
55. hi
56. hello
57. night-night
58. kiss

One of the interesting things for me was where the lists diverged. Tom noted, for example, that help was a key word for Edith at this age, whereas Alice doesn't know it. She doesn't tend to get frustrated, and she likes to try to do things for herself, so there hasn't been much need for it. On the other hand, as a younger child she has learned potty and Elmo far earlier. She even has tried to say princess, we think, though denial kept me from listing it.

She continues to be a peanut at 18 pounds + change, having hardly gained from her 12-month appointment due to a nasty flu bug a few weeks ago. Yet looking at these pictures of her playing in the yard this weekend, it's shocking to me to realize how un-baby-ish she is.

For her part, Edith is a wonderful companion at this age. She is geeking out on science at school in a way that is wonderful to listen to, while she still loves stories as much as ever. She takes as much delight in the arrival of spring as I do and this weekend shouted with excitement whenever she spotted daffodils blooming or pink blossoms coming out on the cherry trees. She remembers particular blooming trees from last year and is watching them eagerly to see when they will burst forth. I'm so glad she takes instinctive joy in nature.

She saw many of the new blossoms on family bike rides this weekend, a new pursuit that promises to be a highlight of our spring and summer. Santa souped up my bike and Tom's this past Christmas so that I could carry Alice on the back in a baby seat, while Edith could ride behind Tom on one of those extensions that allows a young child to pedal along behind mom or dad without being responsible for balance or steering. Considering the glacial pace at which she rides her own little two-wheeler, I was concerned that being on the extension bike might be too scary for her, but she loves it and is up for quite lengthy rides around town, it turns out. So we've enjoyed a couple of first outings and look forward to more to come.

She continues to shoot up and now wears an incredible size 6X as often as a 5. And even, on occasion, a 7/8! Since this means she has outstripped her main hand-me-down source sizewise, this past Saturday we went to procure her a summer wardrobe. She agreed to be woken early in order to attend a children's goods thrift sale with me, since I'm reluctant to buy her clothes at this point without her approval. She has decided that buttons are boyish, for example, and won't wear anything with buttons too prominently displayed.

Despite such particular opinions, she isn't generally interested enough in clothes to find a thrift sale that compelling, so I was proud of her ability to remain calm and helpful for an hour amidst the bustle. I had told her that if she refrained from whining and was patient, she could pick out one toy at the end. After I'd been at the table of clothes her size poring through the piles for about 15 minutes, she announced, "Mom, I'm not impatient to leave this place, but I'm a little impatient to maybe go see another part of the sale. What do you say?" It struck me as quite a mature disciplining of her own urges to frame it that way. She helped until the end and ultimately chose as her reward a 50-cent used Volkswagen Bug that reminded her of Susie the Little Blue Coupe in an old Disney cartoon she likes. She brought the Bug home to watch the Susie cartoon, christening her Uzy (cousin of Susie), and spent the afternoon decorating her with new stickers and introducing her to her new toy friends. All of which reassured me that the girl in the size 7/8 flowered sundress is still four years old, after all.

March storm

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." -Matthew 6:19-21 (RSV)

Salvage

High-water mark on drywall

High-water mark on train set box (right), one of the few things that didn't float

"Like a hailstorm and a destructive wind, like a driving rain and a flooding downpour, he will throw it forcefully to the ground." -Isaiah 28:2 (NIV)




Three days after the power outage that stopped the sump pumps; two days after the flooding that destroyed the sump pump motor, the hot water heater, and the washing machine; a day after trashing carpets, bookshelves, clothes, toys, household files, research files, archival records, undergraduate papers, grad school class notes, dissertation data, books, Christmas ornaments, and boxes and boxes; and still airing, sunning, and machine-drying children's clothes and diapers, not to mention individual pages of journals from Peace Corps, we are tired and occasionally dispirited. But we find our hearts are not in our basement, and we are well.

...

Meanwhile,

"And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every sort into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female." -Genesis 6:19 (RSV)

Yes, she really floated around the basement on the toybox, plucking stuffed animals from the water and christening the place Yucky Lagoon once she realized we didn't think the indoor swimming pool characterization so apt

***

From the food files

1. The video below embodies the gastronomic temperaments of our two daughters. In fact, the opening image almost says it all:

Alice will try almost any food once--and rarely objects to a second spoonful. Edith would live on Colby Jack cheese and bread and butter if we'd let her--or preferably, not eat at all. This particular evening we were eating black beans and rice, one of Alice's favorites, and when she saw Edith refusing her plate, she picked up a fork and tried airplane to get her big sister to eat. I don't think Alice has ever had airplane done for her, mind you, but she has seen it done now and then for Edith.

2. In other news, Alice now has a four-syllable word:

"Dagodado"

3. There's a line I especially like in the parenting book, The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. In its chapter on teaching children to honor their parents (a.k.a. on the value of "Because I said so") is a sentence on the subject of kids wheedling to get what they want: "Parents get fooled because their kids are such skilled debaters, but children are not psychologically equipped to handle winning those debates" (70). That's nothing I don't intuitively know, but I've found that line helpful as a way of reminding myself that just because Edith can sound so persuasive in explaining why she really wants something, those skills shouldn't fool me into thinking she really has weighed in the balance the consequences of skipping dinner or listening to another half hour's worth of stories and made an informed request.

Now we have a paraphrase of that sentence applicable to Alice: "Parents get fooled because their kids are such enthusiastic consumers of sushi and pickled ginger, but toddler stomachs are not gastrointestinally equipped to handle digesting those substances."

As you might discover some evening at 9:45pm...and 10:15...and 10:30...and so on to midnight...and again the next morning.

...And the other, gold

The end of the Olympics is perhaps a fitting time to amend the classic refrain about making new friends and keeping the old. Friends are among the dearest treasures I have, and there are instances in which so many of them, old and new, are golden. Yesterday Edith and I were looking through the scrapbooks I dedicated to other people's weddings, and it was wonderful to revisit so many happy memories with so many different beloved friends.

But when it comes to trying to make life work with small children and two jobs, I suspect many of you might agree that family edges out even old friends by several hundredths of a second in the final run, claiming the top of the podium and bumping old friends to silver and new friends to bronze.

At least that was our conclusion yesterday, when, after three days of a mild virus, Edith woke up at her worst yet, eyes and nose swollen and completely crusted shut with mucus; Alice appeared only slightly better; Tom was waiting with packed bags for his ride to Washington D.C. for a four-day conference; and I was staring down a conference proposal due in a few hours, a stack of student papers due back within 48 hours, and a set of job applications needing reading and evaluating in the same time period,* before embarking on the week's usual teaching prep. It was clear that the girls wouldn't be going to daycare for at least a day or two and equally clear that I had to have some help caring for them if I wanted to meet even minimum requirements for my job. But although we have been in Princeton nearly eight years and Tom is associate pastor of a large congregation in which we know and feel close to many people, we could think of no one locally on whom we could call to help us in this type of a pinch. (Part of the problem is actually having been here too long, as many of our grad school friends of same age and needs have moved on by now.)

The answer, in the end, was to call two of Tom's retired aunts in Delaware to ask if they could drive up with a few hours' notice to spend a couple of days. Answer, yes--until they are needed back in Delaware to help with family at the other end of the life spectrum, moving into a nursing home. God bless family.

And double blessings on them for saying that they don't know how I do it all. It doesn't sound like much, but a little such sympathy and encouragement goes a long way these days, when I wake up most days not sure how everything will get done and then feel worse that I'm not doing everything everyone seems to expect.


*Yes, I'm on a search committee before having secured my own first tenure-track job. Irony duly noted.