...And the other, gold

The end of the Olympics is perhaps a fitting time to amend the classic refrain about making new friends and keeping the old. Friends are among the dearest treasures I have, and there are instances in which so many of them, old and new, are golden. Yesterday Edith and I were looking through the scrapbooks I dedicated to other people's weddings, and it was wonderful to revisit so many happy memories with so many different beloved friends.

But when it comes to trying to make life work with small children and two jobs, I suspect many of you might agree that family edges out even old friends by several hundredths of a second in the final run, claiming the top of the podium and bumping old friends to silver and new friends to bronze.

At least that was our conclusion yesterday, when, after three days of a mild virus, Edith woke up at her worst yet, eyes and nose swollen and completely crusted shut with mucus; Alice appeared only slightly better; Tom was waiting with packed bags for his ride to Washington D.C. for a four-day conference; and I was staring down a conference proposal due in a few hours, a stack of student papers due back within 48 hours, and a set of job applications needing reading and evaluating in the same time period,* before embarking on the week's usual teaching prep. It was clear that the girls wouldn't be going to daycare for at least a day or two and equally clear that I had to have some help caring for them if I wanted to meet even minimum requirements for my job. But although we have been in Princeton nearly eight years and Tom is associate pastor of a large congregation in which we know and feel close to many people, we could think of no one locally on whom we could call to help us in this type of a pinch. (Part of the problem is actually having been here too long, as many of our grad school friends of same age and needs have moved on by now.)

The answer, in the end, was to call two of Tom's retired aunts in Delaware to ask if they could drive up with a few hours' notice to spend a couple of days. Answer, yes--until they are needed back in Delaware to help with family at the other end of the life spectrum, moving into a nursing home. God bless family.

And double blessings on them for saying that they don't know how I do it all. It doesn't sound like much, but a little such sympathy and encouragement goes a long way these days, when I wake up most days not sure how everything will get done and then feel worse that I'm not doing everything everyone seems to expect.


*Yes, I'm on a search committee before having secured my own first tenure-track job. Irony duly noted.