How you know

How you know your kid is over the fever that had her tossing and turning all night:

She jumps out of bed smiling in the morning, heads for the bathroom, and begins a cheery monologue: "I need to pee-pee. People usually need to pee-pee in the morning, because they saved up all their pee-pee all night. Hear that sound? See? I really needed to pee-pee. Then I'll flush, and the pee-pee will go away to the wastewater treatment plant, where they'll clean it, and it will come back to us, and we can drink it."

How you know you're mother to an infant:

You're walking through the clothing store, and you misread "babydoll tees" as "babydrool tees" and think, "Ooh, that's smart--they've invented a fabric that is drool repellent." And this seems like a perfectly logical section of the women's clothing department.