Commissioning, confirmation, commencement, ... continuation, confusion

It has been a week full of milestone markers for us and people we know--all of them significant and yet not so, as Edith's attempts to understand them underscored.

I. Last Friday Tom was officially commissioned as a deacon in the United Methodist Church. What does that mean? A good question. Just hope there's no exam on the nitty-gritty of Methodist polity on the judgment day, as probably not even John Wesley would get the details right. In essence, Tom is now a probationary minister, practicing but still officially under supervision for several more years. Somewhat like a medical resident. You can call him Pastor but not Reverend. He can wear a robe but not a stole. He can serve communion but can't bless the elements. Actually, as a deacon he'll never be able to bless the elements. Unless he has special dispensation as a local pastor. Er, it's complicated.

"But Daddy is already a minister," notes the confused Edith. Yes, that's true. But now it's for real...almost.

Tom with the other 2009 candidates for commissioning in the Greater New Jersey Annual Conference, far left

Tom's with Alice and his grandfather, Albert. Tom's robe was a gift from our congregation in honor of his commissioning.

II. Friday Edith also was in attendance at the pre-K graduation for the class above hers at preschool. All the graduates were dressed up and excited when I dropped the girls at school. The graduates' headshots, in mortarboard and gown, were posted around the room; the podium was decorated and had "2009" plastered down its length. The official program featured more headshots and a mini-bio of each kid, including what they want to be when they grow up, what they said they'd learned in pre-K, and what they hoped to learn in kindergarten. (A fair number noted they had learned about birds in pre-K; several now wanted to learn about bees in kindergarten. No dummies, they.)

"This is the pre-K kids' last day at this school! They're going on to kindergarten," we explained to Edith. "Well, except that most of them will be back for summer session. It's confusing."

Afterwards Edith told us about it enthusiastically. "Each graduate got a present! And something else that interested me: a rolled-up piece of paper with a ribbon around it. My class is going to do that next week."

Next week, next year...it's a bit fuzzy in the four-year-old mind.


III. Sunday we celebrated the confirmation of the eighth graders at church, including Edith's babysitter.

"We're celebrating that these big kids are becoming full members of the church congregation."

"But I thought everyone was a member of the church congregation...?"

Yeah. Sort of.

I was surprised to find myself getting choked up as different families came forward to lay hands on their children as they were confirmed: the three immigrant families who were among the first alphabetically, the family of the boy with serious developmental disabilities, the family who gave each other a big group hug afterwards, the family going through a divorce. The family in which the oldest of four girls was being confirmed drew my attention. As I followed the stair-step of blond heads down the line, I looked at the youngest and suddenly realized that I had crossed a divide, such that I could now think forward to the day when Edith would be going through rites of passage such as confirmation. For awhile we were still young marrieds doing a novel thing--having a baby--which involved playing with this exciting, intense, new little person but which did not fundamentally change us into parents. The world of minivans, soccer practice, and homework had nothing to do with us. Concerns about teachers and class assignments were a foreign conversation. For the most part all of that still does remain in the future, but on Sunday I realized I could now imagine us into that future...out of babyhood and into the years marked off distinctly by grades in school, rushing toward high school and then college. Somewhere along the line we've become a family with kids, not a couple with a baby/babies.


IV. My own commencement mitigated against that feeling a bit--still young enough to be graduating from something. Sunday afternoon we listened to General Petraeus at baccalaureate; Monday we listened to the litany of names at the doctoral hooding ceremony; and Tuesday we enjoyed a sunny morning on the lawn in front of Nassau Hall at the official graduation. Edith marched with me and was good as gold--especially noteworthy considering that our second-row seats facing Meryl Streep, Ruby Dee Davis, and Alice Waters on the platform failed to impress her as they did the rest of us.

And what was Edith's reaction? Happiness at our happiness, but also a question: "But, Mommy, you're already a teacher...?" Well yes, and we celebrated all this last September. It's a bit confusing, really.

(Note: There were many other pictures taken, on various cameras and Blackberries, largely thanks to my dad. I may add to this section as we sort them out. 6/5: Edited to add more shots found on the Princeton website. The trick to getting noticed by the photographers clearly is to bring a child along.)

Being hooded

After the hooding ceremony

With Harrison's father, Conrad, on commencement day

Don't know who that guy in the middle was

Next post: Some of the other fun occasions Edith has enjoyed recently, including a class field trip, Princeton reunions, and her own brief reunion with Harrison. Also, just how striking are Alice's eyes? Stay tuned.