Giving thanks, part II
When it comes to giving thanks for things about Edith herself, it's of course only too easy. But it's especially so in the last couple of weeks, when we seem to have again passed a milestone--or rather, one of those signs noting the summit of a hill you otherwise might have missed along a gradually sloping road--after which we marvel at the subtle but significant changes in our growing girl. One of the parenting books I read claimed that the so-called "terrible twos" actually peak at 18 months. I hardly want to start crowing that we're past unbridled willfulness lest fate smack me upside the head, as one of our readers once put it. But it certainly seems true that for now, at least, we're living with a communicative and agreeable child who enjoys knowing the rules and playing by them. And so right now we give thanks that Edith
-Responds readily to the notification that it's time to leave any place or activity. I know I shouldn't tempt the gods by writing this, but for the moment it's such a joy to say "Sweetie, it's time to go" and to know that however fun the activity in question, she'll stop and wave a loud and cheerful "Bye!" to friends, teachers, the slide, or the sandbox and toddle off with you in the right direction.
-Understands the word "dangerous" and quickly leaves off any activity we so designate. She's even beginning to know the tone of voice that usually accompanies that word and to respond to any admonition carrying that tone, no matter the words.
-Also understands when we're tickled and will join in laughing at almost any joke, like the guy at the party who doesn't want to be left out and so guffaws somewhat awkwardly a second behind the beat...which in Edith's case only makes us laugh harder.
-Can unzip her jacket.
-Makes sure everyone hangs up his or her jacket first thing when we enter the house. (Mommy is especially excited to see her persuade Daddy to play this "game" with her...)
-Likes to go to bed at the end of the day. I appreciate that fear of the dark has not been one of our parenting challenges--it's usually Edith who asks me to turn out the light.
-Often likes returning belongings and toys to the child to whom they belong.
-Loves running fetching and clean-up errands around the house for us.
-Just yesterday started using an affirmative! As we'd been forewarned, it's "yeah" rather than "yes" (it apparently takes having a child to make most of us notice how rarely we pronounce the fully articulated "yes"), but it's so wonderful that I'd take even "yup" or "uh-huh."
-Has started using "Nooo" with a delighted grin and the inflection that means "You're being silly!" Combined with the former we can have such fun conversations now:
On an evening dog walk, Edith stares fascinated in a neighbor's window.
G: "That's Mr. Keith and Ms. Julie's Christmas tree."
E: "Chi-mus tee."
G: "Mmm hmmm. Isn't it pretty?"
E: "Lights!"
G: "What's it doing in there? Do trees grow inside?"
E (smiling): "Nooooo!"
G: "Do you want to go get a Christmas tree for our house?"
E: "Yeah."
We did, in fact, get a Chi-mus tee for our house this evening. Edith seemed stunned when we got to the lot and hardly said a word, gazing silently at the mini-forest of conical firs the whole time we walked around making our choice. But when she really got wide-eyed was when the salesman tied our chosen tree to the top of the car. When we got in and put her in her carseat, she stared up at the ceiling in awe, pointed, and said "Tee...tee..." She continued to crane her neck upwards and marvel at the "tee...tee...tee..." overhead the whole five miles home.
This is going to be a fun Christmas.
1 comment:
Dear Edith,
Grandpa and I were most interested in this latest post, but we are also a bit concerned. One of the things to remember in being a child is that you have responsibilities to foster your parents' development which sometimes have to take precedence over your own interests and predilections. While your parents may express a superficial gratification with your present course of behavior, there could be underlying needs that you are not meeting unless you force yourself out of your present comfort zone. You need to ask yourself, when you cooperate promptly in leaving venues at their request or cleaning up your toys or returning objects to their owners, whether you are providing your mother and dad with the challenges they require if they are to really test their disciplinary skills and justify the time they have invested in studying child development (not to mention having stories to dine out on in old age that won't make other parents resentful or suspicious). They may develop an unwarranted confidence in their ability to handle child-related situations which is not going to stand up to the harsh realities the future undoubtedly holds. Remember: "Yeah" may be appropriate on certain occasions, but don't forget the power of your old friend, "No!" Learning to say "No" can be difficult for all of us sometimes, but it's tremendously important.
This Christmas tree you've now got in your apartment affords an excellent opportunity to put some of this into practice. If you leave it alone, allowing them to decorate it just as they choose, they may "reward" you with praise, but this complacency won't bode well for their long-term growth and maturation. Help them to "stretch" by constantly rearranging whatever they've got on the lower boughs to show how their appearance can be improved. Model intellectual curiosity by demonstrating the kinds of questions they should be asking about these various artifacts: How do they respond to being dropped on various surfaces? Do they bounce? Shatter? How do they taste? Do they float? What is their melting temperature? Show them the importance of personally testing (ideally several times an hour) the amount and temperature of the water in the tree stand. Does the tree really like to drink only water? Would additives help? Might it not enjoy some other liquids altogether of the kind that you like to drink? Challenge them to locate the tree's belly button.
These are just a few suggestions based on personal experience. We are confident you can come up with better ones of your own. Raising parents can be tiring, it's true, but the rewards are great. Don't take the easy way out.
Much love,
Mor-Mor and Grandpa
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